HEALTHY - Really?

My husband and I went to the grocery store last week. He was wandering the market as he usually does and I was actually accomplishing the task of getting the items on our grocery list. I was in the dairy department, considering if I should get some greek yogurt when low and behold my eyes fell on these containers. I couldn't help myself but to stand in awe and take photos. Really? Isn't yogurt supposed to be healthy? Don't we eat yogurt because it is good for us?

 

So then why do you suppose Dannon, the company that manufactures YoCrunch, felt the need to add sugar, food starch, unenriched wheat flour, butter, chocolate, preservatives, additives and a host of other ingredients to an otherwise healthy food product? Their ad says "Yum ~ Just Yum. Smooth, yummy yogurt meets fun, tasty toppings." After the ad tells you how to mix up the yogurt with the toppings it goes on to say "because you deserve the best of both worlds." Wowza! Don't you just love the way companies market these days?

And while we are on the subject of a wolf in sheep's clothing ...

What happened to granola - granola used to be healthy - whole grains, fruits, nuts and seeds - but now we've added butter, shortening and sugar along with chocolate chips, sugary fruits and yogurt coverings so the average serving of granola has more than 400 calories. Yikes!

And energy bars - these were originally marketed to folks exercising (running, swimming, heavy weight lifting) but now the average consumer (who isn't working out) eats them in large quantity because they are marketed as a healthy snack. Some of these 'healthy' energy bars contain as much sugar as a candy bar while others contain artificial sweeteners for flavor and as an added bonus actually cause sugar cravings.

Let's discuss turkey bacon. While some believe this is a better option than the good stuff of pork bacon we must remember that turkey bacon is still processed meat treated with sodium, artificial colors, sodium nitrates and saturated fat. While it is somewhat healthier than pork bacon, there is not enough of a difference to warrant the switch. You might as well eat the real stuff, just cut back on the quantity.

I'm afraid we must talk about coconut oil too. I have personally fallen victim to the marketing ploy suggesting coconut oil is better than other oils. Here's the truth ... while coconut oil has protoprotective and anti-bacterial properties, it also has 115 calories and 12 grams of saturated fat per tablespoon. Its saturated fat creates LDL (the bad one) and has such a high percentage of fat, we really should leave it on the tree in its original form. The saturated fat content of coconut oil sits at a whopping 82%, compared to 63% for butter and 50% for beef fat. 

And for those of you considering going veggie - veggie burgers are touted as being a healthy alternative to the cow or turkey burger. However, read the label carefully because many of these so called healthy alternatives are bound together to create the burger texture with fillers like gums, yeast extract, and corn starch. They are loaded with soy, salt, fat and additives. While going vegetarian is certainly an option many are choosing these days, just be sure to read labels carefully or better yet, make your own version of the burger using more veggies and less yucky stuff.

How is it possible that we can ruin even the best intentions of being healthy by masking the truth, dare I say, lying to ourselves about what we are consuming. Eating yogurt with candy pieces and cookies is pretty much defeating the purpose of eating yogurt. If you want a cookie, eat a cookie. If you want to be healthy, choose the yogurt without all the garbage in it. You'll be better off in the long run.

Something to ponder ...

House and Home

Sometime around March 1 my husband and I started the massive undertaking of remodeling our kitchen. Our home was built in the mid 1970s and we had only done minimal updating of our kitchen since we bought the house in 1992. I’d been asking for a remodel for approximately five years and was beginning to question if it would ever come to pass until one day I was standing in a small puddle of water created by a leak in our dishwasher. We made a homeowners’ claim on our insurance and received a nice little sum of money to repair the damage that had been done. It seems that was the final straw to get my husband to decide it was time to begin the remodel.

The demolition began. Cabinets were removed. Fixtures torn out. Appliances relegated to the living room or garage. Flooring ripped up. Big mess created!

Not only did we want to remodel the kitchen, we wanted to lay flooring that would make the kitchen, dining room, hall and living room look as if it was one big room. More flooring ripped up. More furniture moved. All personal items packed up and stored. Bigger mess created!

By the time all was said and done to demo the old and begin anew, the entire downstairs of my home was affected, including the garage. All fourteen hundred feet of my home was in complete and total chaos.

This caused me to want to go room to room and clean, purge, revamp, tidy up. Needless to say, this was a daunting task. But as I’ve been going about working to recreate an inviting space of comfort and cleanliness, I’ve been taking moments of time to consider the photos, the mementos, the knick-knacks that fill our home. I decided it was time to STOP and look at what I found important enough, valued enough to decorate our living space. As I was putting our home back together I saw our life in photos and trinkets from days gone by. Baby pictures of nieces and nephews. Souvenirs from our travels to foreign lands. Antiques passed on from prior generations. Treasured photos of loved ones who have passed on.

Over the past few days I have walked down memory lane and have enjoyed every.single.second. Prior to this project, I’d begun to think our home had become a big giant conglomerate of silly things that simply took up space. It was cluttered and dusty and unkempt. Now … well now these things have once again become the things I love, the tangible objects that we have spent a lifetime acquiring. I have a renewed appreciation for the things that collect dust in our home and I vow to not take them for granted again. The thousands of photos remind me that I come from a big and loving family and married into a big and loving family. These photos remind me that we have friends in all corners of the world. These photos remind me that we have not lived a lonely life. The trinkets remind me of a person or place that is part of our past. Each item I have displayed in our home carries a unique story and reminds me that I have lived an adventurous life. And I have done all this with the most amazing person, my husband Scott.

I’m so grateful Scott decided it was time to remodel the kitchen. There was an obvious benefit to it – increasing the value of our home. And as it turns out, there was also a silver lining – reminding me that this space we live in is truly our home! It tells our life story, almost without me needing to say a word.

MOM GAVE ME WINGS

At about the age of 20, my mom handed me a set of wings. Perhaps they weren’t real wings, I couldn’t touch them, play with them or wear them as part of a Halloween costume but they were no less significant. She may have even tried giving them to me earlier in life but I remember the day I accepted her offer.

I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma. When I was entering into 4^th grade we moved to the big city, Tulsa. I went to elementary school, junior high and high school all in the same area. The schools were all next to one another within a square mile. Home was within walking distance. The church we attended was full of friends and family. My safety was never an issue but none-the-less I’m sure my mother worried about me daily, as all parents do. 

In 1985 I met the boy of my dreams. At the time, I’m not sure I realized that but it certainly didn’t take long for me to recognize Scott was different. He was kind and considerate and was nearly always happy. We dated for a few years while he was in Oklahoma going to school. However, once he graduated and before he got a full-time job, he returned to his home town and his parents’ house in Pennsylvania. We were in the midst of having a long-distance relationship when he suggested that we meet up in Missouri. His dad (who was from there was planning a trip to visit his family). Scott told me that if I would be willing to make the drive from Oklahoma to Missouri, he would make the drive from Pennsylvania to Missouri with his dad so we could see one another. I was a little apprehensive. After all, I was just 20 years old, a female and at that time had really not ventured too far from the safety net of home, especially by myself. I was contemplating the decision before me when mom entered the room. “What are you thinking about, sweetheart?” I explained the details of Scott’s offer. I imagine she could sense two things from me: first that I wanted to go and second that I was a tad frightened about doing this trip alone. She looked at me and with conviction in her voice said: “Brenda, if you don’t do this, you won’t ever do anything.” “Well, alrighty then mom. Why don’t you tell me how you really feel.” I was a little shocked at her sternness and blunt answer and wondered where it came from. Why did she have such an opinion? Wasn’t she worried that something horrible would happen to me on such a dangerous mission? Didn’t she care? Was she throwing me to the wolves at the ripe old age of 20? Well, of course not! My mother loved me so very much and wanted to see me prosper. She knew she’d raised me to be a good girl, a strong girl and a girl who trusted in God, just as she had done her whole life. She was taking the opportunity Scott had presented and run with it. I wonder if she thought to herself that this was the moment - that prized moment when you realize as a parent it is time to gently and lovingly assist your child from the nest. Did she see this as a moment in time to seize?

A few days later she helped me pack up my car. She and my step-dad made sure I had plenty of money and that the car was in good running condition and on my merry way they sent me.

I ended up having a wonderful time and the trip, while great fun, was pretty uneventful. When I look back at this experience one thing is glaringly obvious. My mother put my feet on a path that is vastly different than what it could have been. She nurtured a sense of adventure, a sense of calm, a sense of trust that all would be okay. That sense has stayed with me to this day. She gave me a healthy set of wings and encouraged me to fly. She loved me enough to let me go.

Since then, I have quite often lived a life very much outside a warm and fuzzy comfort zone. Scott and I have traveled the world. We’ve gone to several countries where the natives don’t speak English. We’ve traveled to countries still under a communist regime. We’ve traveled to countries where Americans are not a favored visitor. Some of the travels I’ve done alone. I’ve traveled to many states alone. I’ve made both road trips and air travel alone.

So why am I telling you this story? Because I find it interesting that after all these years of living an adventurous life it has dawned on me that my mother did me a great service. She pushed me beyond not just my own comfort zone but hers as well. Actually let me rephrase that. I’m not sure at the age of 20 I had a determined comfort zone but I know she pushed me beyond her own. For many years she was a single mom and greatly worried about her children. She had created our lives in such a way as to minimize danger and harm. We lived in a bit of a bubble in order to remain safe. And yet when presented with an opportunity to help me make my own way in the world, she took it. She set her own fears aside and pushed me to expand and explore. I remain forever grateful to my mother for this act of courage.

To Ponder: What do you do, as a parent, that might help your child find his or her way outside the comfort of the life you created for them? Are you giving your child wings or are you holding back for fear of potential pain and suffering? Are you encouraging them to live a life of wonder or sabotaging their inner growth? Are you planting faith or fear?

My mom most definitely gave me wings. She encouraged me to live a life of wonder. She planted faith. "Thanks Mom!"

Monday, Monday ...

The Mamas And The Papas, right?

I love Mondays. Many people don't. Sometimes it is draining to think about the drudgery of another week of work. But when you look at the positive side of Monday, you'll see it can be a good day of the week.

Monday is a good day to start doing something such as a diet or a new exercise program.

Monday is also a good day to stop doing something such as a bad habit or having a bad attitude.

But the reason I like Mondays -- it is garbage day in my neighborhood. I know, you think I'm a little kooky now, right? Let me explain.

Every Monday morning I see two different garbage trucks go through my neighborhood. One empties the blue cart which is regular garbage and one empties the brown cart which is recycling. So I started thinking about the details of this. I can live my normal life all week long and then throw all my yucky stuff away. Once per week, on Mondays, some nice men come along in big trucks and haul it off. For up to 32 gallons of garbage I pay less than $3.60 per week.  Included in this fee is a once-per-week street cleaning service that keeps my neighborhood streets looking nice. And for less than $1.30 per week all the recycling gets removed and by recycling I mean anything recyclable -- glass, tin, paper, plastic ... All I have to do is put the garbage and recyclables in their respective containers, put the containers at the curb and Wa La it call gets carried away. Wow! That is pretty cool!

After traveling around the world, trust me, this is a valuable service. Not every country has such benefits. I've been to countries where the garbage just piles up in the streets - the city, and the countryside. In places that do have refuse service, the amount you can discard is quite small while the cost is quite high. Not many of us think about the benefits of having someone physically come to each of our homes and pick up our garbage. It just is what it is. It is a service we have come to expect.

Don't get me wrong, I expect this service because I pay for it. I'm merely pointing out the fact that I like this service, I appreciate this service and I'm grateful every Monday to see the smiling faces of those nice men in the big trucks driving through my neighborhood.

What do you like about Mondays?

MARVELING AT THE LITTLE THINGS

As I was walking this morning, I had a surge of happiness. It never ceases to amaze me at how wonderful our world and life can truly be. We are such a smart and inventive people. I won't discuss putting a man on the moon since that has almost become a cliche -- wow! we put a man on the moon. While I am not negating the importance or crazy accomplishment of that feat, it is not the only thing we can be proud of. We can be proud of and talk about so many other things - so many huge accomplishments. Actually, I personally believe that even what some would consider small accomplishments are something to marvel.

A few weeks ago my neighbor was having some work done on her house. We live in a cul-de-sac - this neighbor lives directly across from me so I was able to watch all the activity. She ordered two replacement columns for her front porch. The original two had dry rot damage and needed to be replaced. I did not see the truck arrive so I missed the beginning of the process and by the time I realized the columns had arrived, the forklift carrying them was already in motion. The driver was manuevering around in order to place them on the floor of my neighbor's garage. I watched with some amazement as it appeared he was doing his job with little effort. He gently placed the columns on the ground but was unable to push them entirely into the garage (there was some other stuff in the way). Once the obstacle was removed, he continued placing the items in the right place in order for my neighbor's contractor to be able to do his work. When the driver was finished with this, he proceeded to place the forklift back where it came from. He drove the forklift across the street and parked it directly behind the big truck (which carried the materials the driver was delivering). He then went to the bed of the truck and started pushing buttons. Some arms came out from the big truck and grabbed hold of the forklift. These arms then lifted the forklift off the ground and pulled the small piece of equipment close to its bumper. One could hear a few clicks and clangs while the connections were made between big truck and little forklift. After approximately 5 minutes, the process was complete and the forklift was fully secured in place. The driver then got into the truck and pulled away. Job complete!

It may sound odd but this whole process totally intrigued me. I stood in wonder at how easily one person was able to accomplish this task. The columns were 7 x 7 and 10 feet tall. I can only imagine how heavy they were. The driver was delivering two huge, heavy and cumbersome columns at the same time, he was alone, he was working an invaluable piece of equipment, he did all this with ease.

Isn't it incredible that we are able to accomplish these types of tasks? We are able to create and build and do and be! This particular task only needed one person to get it done. The two machines he needed to do the job - the truck and the forklift - both came in very handy and enabled him to deliver a product to the customer of the company with little effort.

I am often intrigued by what we have invented and I am eager to see what we'll invent in the future. There is so much possibility!

STORAGE WARS

For as long as I can remember, I've not been a fan of storage units. To be honest, I never quite understood the need to pay for storage, unless it was of course for something like an RV or a boat. Certainly you'd need to store one of those items since it is not like you can tuck either of them into your kitchen junk drawer. But other stuff? Well, I just didn't get it. And my husband felt the same way. He has always been opposed to paying for additional storage, beyond what we have available in our home and garage. Once, several years ago I merely suggested that we tuck a few things that we don't regularly use into a storage facility so that our garage wouldn't be so cluttered. Let's just say hubby's answer was a resounding 'No!'

Since then, I'd reverted back to my original opinion that storage was silly, a waste of money. To store things you've purchased, for example scrapbooking/craft goodies seemed particularly wasteful. I mean really, why buy so much that you don't have room for it? Let's face it, if I shop and buy so much that I need to store the spoils, then clearly I'm shopping too much. I should say, for the record, that I'm a shopper from way back. I can shop nearly anywhere, anytime, with anyone for any reason. At times this has gotten me in trouble from a storage space point of view but I've always somehow managed to handle it. I find nooks and crannies and tuck away here and there. The day I discovered storage bags was a good day! You mean I can put LOTS of items in one little bag, suck the air out and then hide the bag in a small space under my bed? Well, what are we waiting for, let's buy two bags!

Last year, for the first time in my life, I actually cleaned out my closet for the season. I packed away, in my newly purchased storage bags, all my summer clothing and my summer shoes. Wow! Would you look at all that space in my closet. Hmmm ... I may need to go shopping because clearly I don't have enough clothes to get me through the winter. There is extra space in my closet and I don't believe that has happened since around 1984 so I must need to go shopping.

Scrapbooking is one of my favorite hobbies and I also love making my own greeting cards. We travel a lot, I have a large family with lots of nieces and nephews participating in a variety of activities -- scouts, music, cheer, scholastic -- so I need a variety of scrapbooking supplies. So I shopped. And since I have a diverse group of friends from all walks of life I obviously need many options for papers, stamps, ribbons, and do-dads when card making. Guess what? I shopped. I somehow over the years managed to accumulate such a large supply of scrapbooking and card-making supplies that I ran out of space for all of it.

Can you see what's coming? Yep, yesterday I became the proud lessee of one 5 x 10 storage unit. Gasp! What have I done? I've gone against the very grain of my person and caused some tension in my house. My husband got strangely quiet which means he's not particularly happy with what I've done. Then he reminded me that I'd at some point in my past vowed to never pay for storage. But you know what? I am strangely exhilarated, dare I say even inspired. I see this rental as an opportunity to remove all the stuff (some might even say junk) to an off site location so that I can actually see the floor of my craft room for a while (my craft room also doubles as our guest bedroom). I now have the opportunity to weed through my purchases with time on my side to determine what, if anything, needs to be donated. I now have the time to be less overwhelmed since these items will not be staring me in the face every time I walk by the craft room. I find myself excited about the possibilities of all this new space. Uh oh ... a familiar sensation is coming on ...

See you at Hobby Lobby! (Ah, just kidding.)

GAZING AT A CLOSED DOOR

“True to his nature, he did not stand wistfully gazing at a closed door. Instead, he moved passed it.” This quote came from a book I recently read and it shocked me when I realized it was not a true statement about me. I wonder how many closed doors I have stood in front of hoping that somehow, some way, they’d reopen? How much precious time have I wasted chasing a dream that I gave up on too quickly? Will I live in Oklahoma again, close to my family? Will I have children of my own? Will I create traditions in my home that will be recreated year after year? Will I be a great singer? Dancer? Piano player? These are all things I desperately wanted at some point in my life but for a variety of reasons, they did not come to fruition. What about becoming a marathon runner? A highly compensated executive? A writer?

Some of these dreams may seem foolish or irrational to you but each time I had my sights on a goal and yet did not accomplish it, was not successful in completing it, it knocked me down just a little bit. It took the wind from my sail, it removed a bit of hope from my heart.

Each time I shared a dream or goal with someone, that person would be excited for me as well. However, if I couldn’t/didn’t continue with the goal as planned, I would be asked about it. “Are you still taking piano lessons?” “What about your singing class?” "Have you finished that book you were working on?" When I would share that I’d stopped for whatever lame excuse came to mind the conversation would end. There was no follow-up, no pursuit, no calling me on the carpet for my lame excuse. I am by no means blaming my friends and family for my lack of follow-through but I do think it is interesting that I was let off the hook so easily. Why was I not questioned more? Why did these folks let me give up? Why was I not held accountable to my claimed dreams? It was almost as if they were saying to me, “Oh well. No big deal. Now let's go get a pizza.”

In hindsight, I wish that person would have been willing to hold me accountable. I wish they would have put my feet to the fire and riddled me with questions. I wish they would have told me that quitting was not an option, that in order to ever do anything great, I had to keep at it, I had to keep trying. Instead, I was basically ‘allowed’ to quit the many things I'd started.

As I ponder this situation, years later, with many broken dreams and incomplete goals, I wonder why this was the case. Did my friends not feel comfortable holding me accountable? Did they not know how? Did they not care? And, as an added question, did I do the same to my friends? Did I not push them to be their best, to accomplish their goals and dreams? Have I let people off the hook in the pursuit of a dream? Was I a good enough friend to push them to accomplish? Or do we all just walk around giving one another a free pass to take the path of least resistance?

How do I know when a goal I’ve set for myself is truly real? How do I decide what activities I really want to pursue? How do I make it so that the folks in my life can hold me accountable?

Learning to discern between a truly closed door and a door that only seems closed because an obstacle is in front of it is of paramount importance. Overcoming obstacles and pressing on are critical to success - not just for me but for all of us.

What would it look like if we rose to the occasion of holding one another accountable to a stated dream or a goal? We need to help each other sing the song in our heart, live a life fully realized, let our lights fully shine. We must pursue. We must persevere. We must utilize the blessings given to their full and awesome extent. And we must do this, not just for ourselves but also for those around us.

I believe our world would look very different if we stopped staring at closed doors, but walked through them, hand in hand with another.